Do it or do not do it — you will regret both.

Quote of the Week 36

“Do it or do not do it — you will regret both.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

 

 

Triggered by Shreyas Doshi's repost on X:

You'll regret it if you get married, you'll regret it if you don't get married. You'll regret it if you have kids and you'll regret it if you don't. Kierkegaard said this 200 years ago as follows - whatever you choose, you'll regret it, because the problem isn't in your choices,… https://t.co/y9BEyLjsc1

— blue (@bluewmist) August 25, 2026

 

Full quote (per Claude.ai):

Here's the full passage from Either/Or (1843).

"Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world's foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don't hang yourself, you'll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy."

And the tighter version you're leading with — "I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations — one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it — you will regret both." — is the condensed line that usually gets quoted on its own, from the same passage in Part I ("The Diapsalmata").

Related:

“In life, we must choose our regrets.”

― attributed to Christopher Hitchens

 

 

 

Not strictly related:

 

A dissenting opinion from a 900-year-old Jedi Master who never married, had children, or, as far as we know, regretted anything. 

 

“Do, or do not, there is no try.”

― Yoda

 

 

Per Google Gemini:

No, Yoda's statement is not directly derived from Søren Kierkegaard. While they sound strikingly similar on the surface, George Lucas and screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan drew inspiration for Yoda's philosophy from Eastern religions (specifically Zen Buddhism and Taoism) and Stoicism, rather than European existentialism. [1, 2, 3, 4]

The underlying meaning of the two quotes also highlights a major difference in their philosophical frameworks:

The Philosophical Divide

• Kierkegaard's "Either/Or": His quote focuses on the burden of choice and existential dread. He argues that whether you choose to do something or not, you will face regret because humans are structurally prone to anxiety regarding the unknown future. [1]
• Yoda's "Do or Do Not": Yoda's instruction is about mindset, presence, and total commitment. In Eastern philosophies like Zen, "trying" implies a split mind—an expectation of possible failure or a hesitation that detaches you from the present action. Yoda is telling Luke to eliminate self-doubt, not warning him about future regret. [1, 2, 3, 4]

George Lucas, who has described himself as a "Buddhist Methodist," used the Jedi to echo the concept of effortless action (Wu wei) from Taoism and the focused mindfulness of Buddhism rather than the anxiety-laden choices of Western existentialism. [1, 2]

__________

 

Kierkegaard: You can't avoid regret.
Hitchens: Choose your regret.
Yoda: Then commit.